TUESDAY TIP:
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."
Mark Twain
Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:
When I was growing up, I was taught a little slogan that was supposed to stop some of the bullying on the playground. I was taught to say, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
As an adult, I realize how ridiculous that slogan is. The truth is ... words are among the most powerful forces on earth. Words can and do hurt. A few mis-spoken words by a corporate executive could turn off an entire company. A few mis-spoken words by a husband or wife could destroy a marriage. And a few mis-spoken words by a politician could start a war.
The GOOD news is ... words can also be the source of great good. Words can motivate employees, build up relationships, and even make us think, wonder, and laugh.
For example, I listened to the artful way one comedian put his words together. Among other lines in his routine, he asked the audience, "How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?" and "We know the speed of light. So what's the speed of dark?"
He defined a few terms for us, such as "laughing stock," which is nothing more than cattle with a sense of humor. But he admitted his life wasn't perfect, "He said, 'I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.'"
The GREAT news is ... there are three little words you can use to start new relationships, deepen old ones, and even restore those that have cooled off over time. And it doesn't matter if you use these three little words on your coworkers, your customers, your spouse, kids, or friends; they will enrich every one of those relationships.
Perhaps the BEST news is ... there are ten of these little three-word phrases you can use. You can choose the three-word phrase that best suits your situation. Some of them I learned from Perry Walker and Dr. Sidney Simon, and some of them I developed over the years. Here are five of them for this week's edition of the "Tuesday Tip."
1. I'll be there.
When you indicate by your words and your actions that "I'll be there" for you, you're giving one of the greatest gifts you can give someone else. You're giving him/her the gift of support, encouragement, and peace of mind. And these words work just as well in your personal life as your professional life.
2. I miss you.
Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of the workday, just to say "I miss you."
3. I respect you.
It's the number one thing employees want to get from a job ... once they get past the pay, security and benefits. They want to hear and need to feel that they are respected. The same thing goes for those close to you ... if you remember the "circle of trust" in the "Meet The Parents" movie.
4. I'm open to...
"I'm open to hearing your side." This is a great phrase for diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. Instead of coming across as rigid and closed minded, which almost always makes the other person more rigid and closed minded as well, you come across as reasonable and flexible.
In a sense, when you say "I'm open to..." to your point of view, you're exhibiting your humility. You're admitting the possibility of being wrong. And if you're open to his/her position, you dramatically increase the chances that they'll be more open to your way of thinking or your way of doing things.
5. Please forgive me.
Face it. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody makes a mess of things once in a while. And every one of us has a few faults and shortcomings.
And yet, many people find it very difficult to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for the damage they've caused. They see it as a sign of weakness ... when in reality, it is a sign of strength. When you say "please forgive me," you're owning up to the fact you were in the wrong, and in the process of owning up, you're also saying "I'm wiser today than I was yesterday."
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