The Cycle of My Year

I was reading a friends blog and felt for her. It can be really hard to go through breakups.

I seem to find my self in the breakup boat more then I enjoy. However, this year seems to be a funny cycle in and of it self. I seem to be not so good at making relationships last, but am proving to be worse at making breakups last.

My year cycle has been this. Date Jared...end relationship...date Jared...end relationship...date Jared...end relationship....and so on. The last couple of weeks we had talked a lot about getting back together. Oddly enough we talked through a lot of our problems and hesitancies of getting back together again. How we feel for each other. Well you name it we discussed it. He was all in it for getting back together..but I was still on the fence.

The end of the story goes like this...I realized our dating was not right. The reasons dont matter. But to sum it up. He and I stand in different places, goals and desires when it comes to the church and life styles.

As I prayed my answer was simple "You know what you know, you know how to live, you know what to do, now do it." With that in mind I knew we couldnt date. The answer felt right and stronger then the pain in my heart of not being able to date. He asked if I would regret not being with him when I looked back on it. I told him I likely would but would regret even more where my life would have ended up and how I would have lived even more.

This weekend I have thought about how hard breakups, or whatever I just went through can be. Its hard to walk away from someone you have something going with. Even more its a great test of faith. This thining has caused me to pull out my good old "What I Wish I Knew When I Was Single" book. I would like to share a part of it for all of us who have gone through a broken heart.

After a while you may begin to ask, "Could I really marry this person? Did I ,make him or her into something that wasnt real?" Slowly but surely, you're coming down to earth. It's ok. It happens to all os us. And, more than likely, the same thing may be going on in the oer person;s mind. usually this will leaad to the someties painful experience we all a break up. It's tough. But after a while, you'll get your courage back and start all again.

Here a few suggestions that might help:
1) Take your time
2) Write!!
3) Change the scenery
4) Be With People
5) Watch Your Mouth
6) Stay Close to the Lord

If you're in a situation like this, here;s some advice: when you break up, break up! Because you may still have concern for the other person, you may be tempet to keep in touch. Sometimes it's better to disappear. It may to be possible to go from eing in a romantic relationship to being "just friends." And although you want to call ech day and say "How are you doing today?" it may be better to leave it alone.

If you've been through a bad breakup, stay close to the lord. he knows what you are worth, and he is the Master Healer. Build your foundation on him, because he is the rock, the only sure foundation. and this rock will never break up.

Bottom line; Breakups are a part of life for everyone. They're hard. They hurt. But they can teach us empathy and make us better people in the long run. Learn what you can, be patient with yourself as you heal, and keep the faith. Just don't let breakups break you up.

I know its hard. I have found my self in the break up cycle time and time again. This year has been extra hard becuase I have found my self playing out this cycle multiple times with the same person. I am not the greatest at breakups. But know what I have learned this year. The Lord is there and loves us. The breakups are worth it, the relationship was worth it. They teach us many lessons and shape us. We become a better person, future girlfriend, future husband, future mom, etc. becuase of these relationships and breakups not despite of them.

Hang in there. Love the Lord. Hold the course and keep hope of the future burning bright in your hearts.

So I Get IT I Havent Blogged In A Long Time

So I have had a few people express to me I havent blogged in awhile.

There are many reasons for this:
FIRST: I have been way busy with my new calling. In August I was set a part as the new relief society president for my ward. Lets say it takes a lot of time, but all good time.
SECOND: Lack of free time. When I have it blogging seems to be last on my list. Now you can see why I am horrible with journal writing. :)
THIRD: My mind seems to have been preoccupied with other things.

What have I been up to:
FIRST: Work. Simply put has been extra busy. But that is how August-October seems to go.
SECOND: I took up biking. I really want to start competing in triathlons next year.
THIRD: Running. What a big surprise there. I am telling you I love running. I hate it when I have to miss a few days. :(
FOURTH: Lots of fun with friends. (Trust me much needed to) I love girls nights, haunted houses, parties, movies, dinners and much much more.

So my goal is to be better at blogging and....believe it or not....try to write in my journal. You are all likely dying of shock right now. By the way Melissa thanks for the wonderful advice you gave on journal writing. You once taught me journals are a good way to track your life. When you feel lost and confused you can go back to your journals and see how you got there. What better reason do you need.

You all have permission to hold me to these goals.

Summer In Recap

Summer has come to an end. I most say this makes me laugh, once I finished college summer became more of a time when it was hot...no real change to daily life. I do like that summer means races, but no need for heat. Any how on to the point....

...I realized I need to update my blogg....

...I stoped becuase it never crossed my mind. July and August have been very mental and emotional rollarcoasters....so I just never thought about it.

So I decided a summer re-cap will have to suffice....

1) A on-again off-again relationship....yep thats right I feel into that trap. I swore I never would but I did. Jared and I dated on again and off again for months. But July 4th weekend I decided it was time to be done with dating him for good. This began the emotional rollarcoaster. Trying to figure out how I end up dating good guys that need to figure life out.

2) My seven year good luck streak of never talking in church came to an end. I had the chance to speak in church pioneerday weekend. I spoke on Charity...one of my favorite topics.

3) One church calling came to and end for another to begin. Hense the continuation of the emotional rollarcoaster. This time it was all good. I have been able to spend a lot of time praying and studying. Supper good note it put emotional July into perspective.

4) Running...I posted on most races but one. I ran the Farmington Days Half Marathon and took 3rd in my age group. Not bad. One bad note....I know really want to work on my speed and becoming a more competitve runner. Not much of a surprise that things can turn competitve with me and sports.

5) A girls trip to San Diego with my mom and sister to see Whicked, go to Sea World and play on the beach.

6) Ward trip to Jackson Hole. I love that place. Hightlights...rafting, moose in camp, and thunderstorms

7) I have decided on my next challenge in life. I am going to start training for a triathalon. This week I got my brand new bike.

Dream Big

When you cry be sure to dry your eyes
'Cause better days are sure to come
And when you smile be sure to smile wide
Don't let them know that they have won
And when you walk, walk with pride
Don't show the hurt inside
Because the pain will soon be gone

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

Happy 4th of July...or Can I Say "First"

Can I say the best race ever....well I will.

I ran my traditional annual 4th of July Kaysville Rotary 10k.

Some highlights as to why it was so good:
1) I PR it was my fastest 10k yet.
2) I averaged 8:29 minute miles...lets see if I can hold that for another 7 miles. My goal is to run a half with 8:30 minute miles or faster...overall goal PR on a half and eventually run one in under an hour and fifty minutes. All I have to do is become a runner (live as a runner)
3) And why is was the best.......I got first in my age group and 21st overall. Yippee so worth it to.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!!

Wasatch Back 2009 "We love to run"

So last weekend, June 19-20th, me and eleven other crazy runners from the ward thought it would be fun to run the Wasatch Back relay. (Here is brief journey through our 30+ hour journey, I kept it brief.)


To start the Wasatch Back is a 188 mile relay race from Logan to Park City. Each team is made up of 12 runners, each running 3 legs. I was runner three on our team. Total I ran 18.6 miles, slept two hours, spent time in heat, rain and way to much in the car. But what can I say I love to run. And as an addition to why this race is so crazy...you never stop. You run through the night. Our team ran the race in 29 hours and 25 minutes. WOW!!! Thats a whole lot of go.

Us at the start of our journey. Note please we look human and a live.


Me preparing to begin my first leg. Lets just say it was one hot afternoon. Curse the sun and heat.


In the middle of my leg. Remember curse the dang heat. I thought I was going to die. Yes Ill admit I questioned my sanity, just for a moment.


And my leg family came to an end. Yippeee!!!


The whole team, well sort of. We were preparing to start our second set of legs. Time to run through the night. The exchanges were the best challenge of all. You had to time things just right for each van to meet up. What a fun game.

So leg two didnt get photos. that would be the fun of running in the dark. Big note from leg two....I remembered why I love to run. After our second leg we headed to the local high school for a good night of sleep...aka roll into the school at 3:30 am sleep on wrestling mats in a humid gym with hundreds of strangers...wake up at 5:30am to get ready to run again.

Leg three was a the hardest run. Up hill, 8 miles long and no sleep. I had a mixture of pure running joy (yes I loved parts), wanting to cry and die, and the best part wanting to lie down and sleep.

And we finally made it. All good things have to come to an end.

This Sounds Like Fun

The first FIVE people to respond to this post will get something, handmade or homemade, from me! However there are some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It will be done sometime within a year from now.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be
5-I have to know you so that I can customize the gift!

The catch is if you choose to do this, you must post this on your blog and be ready to make something for five people too. This will be fun! When you receive the fabulous item I make you, you must post a picture of it on your blog!