2009 Recap All That Life Brought

2009 was one of those funny whirl-wind years. I thought of listing only the good but figured I would just list all the moments I remember. (No particular order)

-Going through the temple to receive my endowments
- Ski Trip to Jackson Hole with my brothers
- A ward trip to Jackson Hole
- Dinner with my boyfriends family, now that was a weird moment...how did I get there?
- My relationship with Jared
- Kicking my relationship off with Jared at the Grizzlies Hockey Game...the best Hockey Game I have ever gone to
- A fun trip to Park City with Friends
- Leaving my job
- Being called as an FHE group leader
- My new calling as the Relief Society President
- Running the Wasatch Back with my friends in the ward
- Buying my new fabulous bike!
- Wining several races
- Running in several races (what would I do without running?)
- Great girls nights
- Seeing Wicked (despite the nightmares after, kind of afraid of the Wizard of Oz)
- An amazing girls trip to San Diego with my mom and Heidi
- Came down with funny illnesses
- Had my first crown...never again

....Ok so maybe its been a great year, just a hard month

Onto a better year in 2010

So I Thought I Could Blog....Obviously Not

So that was a funny dream to think I could blog on a regular basis. I think daily may be overkill for me so I am going to step and try weekly.

Recently I have found my myself facing a lot of changes in life. Such as:
- Becoming unemployed
- Once and for all ending my relationship with Jared (silly that it took us nine months to figure things out.

But its all for the best. Lately I have felt in a huge rut and didnt know why, how I got there or how to get out. Honest I am not sure the answers to any of those questions.

All I know is this:
- I need to make the changes in my life that allow me to get back to being, the things I did when I felt the best. Hence my 2010 goals.
- Right now I am 95% sure going back to school is the best option
- I have come to learn I deserve the best when it comes to relationships. I deserve to date someone who will treat me like the daughter of God that I am and that can help establish a family based on the church and love of and in Christ.

Ill keep up to date and how life pans out.

My 2010 New Years Resolutions

Yep its that time of Year of for News Years Resolutions. My underlying goal is feel like I have control of life again and that things are good. It seems that some how I have let of go of being me and become lazy. (I think thats the easiest explanation.)

I have never accomplished my resolutions. So this year I am going to. I said a good place to start is list what I want to fix, and a few things to do.

Here are the 2010 Goals.

Believe this part if your able, but we may each be proved a fool. I am going to blog and my adventures of my 2010 resolutions. :)

House/Garden

• Keep My Room, Car and Bathroom Clean and Tidy
  

• Weekly Yard Work

• Learn 3 New Handy Skills

• Cook 1 New Meal a Week
  

Health

• IBS Safe Diet

• Get Down to Weighing 120

• Bed Time and Morning Habits (no snooze, bed time routine, etc.)

• Learn Relaxation (Yoga, Walks, etc.)
  

Fitness/Training

• PR on My Half Marathon Time

• Complete a Triathlon

• Strength Train!!

• Stick to an Exercise Schedule
  

Spiritual

• Meaningful Daily Prayers

• Daily Journal and Gratitude Journal

• 30 Minutes of Scripture Study
  

• Regular Temple Attendance (2xs a Month to Weekly)
  

Creativity

• Weekly Photo Project

• Take a Fun Class

• My Own Happiness Project

• Read 12 New Books this Year
  

Misc.

• Pay Off Credit Debt and Build Savings

• Write Matt Once to Twice a Week and Email

• Be More Socially Involved (Dating, Friends, Etc.)

• Establish a Budget and Stick to It

• Love Me and My Life Just for It Being Me and Mine
  

Lets See If I Can Blog and Write in My Journal Daily...Here is to the First Day

Today was one of those fun starts to my day. What do I mean? Well I have a weird way of having really realistic dreams and when I do I always think I am in my dream. Weird I know. This morning I was dreaming that I woke up so late that I had to throw on cloths and get out the door. I was frustrated at everyone and everything that I couldn’t get ready. I couldn’t figure out why I slept in and how it happened. When I was caught up in my silly frustration my mom came in and woke me up for real. No I didn’t sleep in way late but I did sleep in kind of late. So I did need to rush to get ready.

Today was a pretty morning though. As much as I hate driving in snow I love everything else about it. My favorite thing in winter is when it dumps snow while you are sound asleep and you wake up to a fresh blanket of snow. I love the look of snow packed roads. I really love in December when it is snowing at night and you look down the road at the snow coming down and the houses with the Christmas lights on, it kind of has a magical feel to it. Only down side to snow….driving in it.

I want to list out what I am grateful for each day of Christmas.

Today I am grateful for the chance I had to go through the temple and receiving my own endowments.

The Cycle of My Year

I was reading a friends blog and felt for her. It can be really hard to go through breakups.

I seem to find my self in the breakup boat more then I enjoy. However, this year seems to be a funny cycle in and of it self. I seem to be not so good at making relationships last, but am proving to be worse at making breakups last.

My year cycle has been this. Date Jared...end relationship...date Jared...end relationship...date Jared...end relationship....and so on. The last couple of weeks we had talked a lot about getting back together. Oddly enough we talked through a lot of our problems and hesitancies of getting back together again. How we feel for each other. Well you name it we discussed it. He was all in it for getting back together..but I was still on the fence.

The end of the story goes like this...I realized our dating was not right. The reasons dont matter. But to sum it up. He and I stand in different places, goals and desires when it comes to the church and life styles.

As I prayed my answer was simple "You know what you know, you know how to live, you know what to do, now do it." With that in mind I knew we couldnt date. The answer felt right and stronger then the pain in my heart of not being able to date. He asked if I would regret not being with him when I looked back on it. I told him I likely would but would regret even more where my life would have ended up and how I would have lived even more.

This weekend I have thought about how hard breakups, or whatever I just went through can be. Its hard to walk away from someone you have something going with. Even more its a great test of faith. This thining has caused me to pull out my good old "What I Wish I Knew When I Was Single" book. I would like to share a part of it for all of us who have gone through a broken heart.

After a while you may begin to ask, "Could I really marry this person? Did I ,make him or her into something that wasnt real?" Slowly but surely, you're coming down to earth. It's ok. It happens to all os us. And, more than likely, the same thing may be going on in the oer person;s mind. usually this will leaad to the someties painful experience we all a break up. It's tough. But after a while, you'll get your courage back and start all again.

Here a few suggestions that might help:
1) Take your time
2) Write!!
3) Change the scenery
4) Be With People
5) Watch Your Mouth
6) Stay Close to the Lord

If you're in a situation like this, here;s some advice: when you break up, break up! Because you may still have concern for the other person, you may be tempet to keep in touch. Sometimes it's better to disappear. It may to be possible to go from eing in a romantic relationship to being "just friends." And although you want to call ech day and say "How are you doing today?" it may be better to leave it alone.

If you've been through a bad breakup, stay close to the lord. he knows what you are worth, and he is the Master Healer. Build your foundation on him, because he is the rock, the only sure foundation. and this rock will never break up.

Bottom line; Breakups are a part of life for everyone. They're hard. They hurt. But they can teach us empathy and make us better people in the long run. Learn what you can, be patient with yourself as you heal, and keep the faith. Just don't let breakups break you up.

I know its hard. I have found my self in the break up cycle time and time again. This year has been extra hard becuase I have found my self playing out this cycle multiple times with the same person. I am not the greatest at breakups. But know what I have learned this year. The Lord is there and loves us. The breakups are worth it, the relationship was worth it. They teach us many lessons and shape us. We become a better person, future girlfriend, future husband, future mom, etc. becuase of these relationships and breakups not despite of them.

Hang in there. Love the Lord. Hold the course and keep hope of the future burning bright in your hearts.

So I Get IT I Havent Blogged In A Long Time

So I have had a few people express to me I havent blogged in awhile.

There are many reasons for this:
FIRST: I have been way busy with my new calling. In August I was set a part as the new relief society president for my ward. Lets say it takes a lot of time, but all good time.
SECOND: Lack of free time. When I have it blogging seems to be last on my list. Now you can see why I am horrible with journal writing. :)
THIRD: My mind seems to have been preoccupied with other things.

What have I been up to:
FIRST: Work. Simply put has been extra busy. But that is how August-October seems to go.
SECOND: I took up biking. I really want to start competing in triathlons next year.
THIRD: Running. What a big surprise there. I am telling you I love running. I hate it when I have to miss a few days. :(
FOURTH: Lots of fun with friends. (Trust me much needed to) I love girls nights, haunted houses, parties, movies, dinners and much much more.

So my goal is to be better at blogging and....believe it or not....try to write in my journal. You are all likely dying of shock right now. By the way Melissa thanks for the wonderful advice you gave on journal writing. You once taught me journals are a good way to track your life. When you feel lost and confused you can go back to your journals and see how you got there. What better reason do you need.

You all have permission to hold me to these goals.

Summer In Recap

Summer has come to an end. I most say this makes me laugh, once I finished college summer became more of a time when it was hot...no real change to daily life. I do like that summer means races, but no need for heat. Any how on to the point....

...I realized I need to update my blogg....

...I stoped becuase it never crossed my mind. July and August have been very mental and emotional rollarcoasters....so I just never thought about it.

So I decided a summer re-cap will have to suffice....

1) A on-again off-again relationship....yep thats right I feel into that trap. I swore I never would but I did. Jared and I dated on again and off again for months. But July 4th weekend I decided it was time to be done with dating him for good. This began the emotional rollarcoaster. Trying to figure out how I end up dating good guys that need to figure life out.

2) My seven year good luck streak of never talking in church came to an end. I had the chance to speak in church pioneerday weekend. I spoke on Charity...one of my favorite topics.

3) One church calling came to and end for another to begin. Hense the continuation of the emotional rollarcoaster. This time it was all good. I have been able to spend a lot of time praying and studying. Supper good note it put emotional July into perspective.

4) Running...I posted on most races but one. I ran the Farmington Days Half Marathon and took 3rd in my age group. Not bad. One bad note....I know really want to work on my speed and becoming a more competitve runner. Not much of a surprise that things can turn competitve with me and sports.

5) A girls trip to San Diego with my mom and sister to see Whicked, go to Sea World and play on the beach.

6) Ward trip to Jackson Hole. I love that place. Hightlights...rafting, moose in camp, and thunderstorms

7) I have decided on my next challenge in life. I am going to start training for a triathalon. This week I got my brand new bike.