Let me start off by saying we are all human!
Into I go....
If you have followed my blog at all you would able to quickly see that I have spent the last year in an on again off again relationship. (Trust me I never ever thought I would find my self in this position. And I doubt they ever really work out. OK maybe 90% dont.)
Last week was a little bit hard in the relationship area.
Jared stopped by my house on Monday to hang out and talk. The general idea was this...
Jared told me:
-That I am crazy to break up when he meets 90% of what I want my dream guy to be. (Let me just add in that the missing piece would be church commitment and well thats huge and way out weighs everything else. He just doesnt get that.)
- That he knows I will come to my senses and realize we are ment to be together and that he doesnt plan to move on for awhile to give me a chance to come to my senses.
My end result....I was just mad, frustrated and having to deal with a broken heart again.
But how does this all relate. Easy....My week we all ready and emotional wreck. I was feeling hurt and lonely and wanted things to be different. And when I was feeling down I got to go to a bridal shower. Yep thats right. Its kind of like rubbing salt into the wounds. (Ok Ill admit the shower was fun, just hard.)
On Sunday I found my self at a point were I was wondering if I was doing the right thing by breaking up with Jared. Even though Heavenly Father had pretty much come short of hitting me over the head with a bat while telling me to break up. I may have known the choice was right but the hurt and loneliness was enough to make me go back. (I think that is how on again off again relationships come about.)
Well our lesson in relief society was what I needed to hear. It was on the conference talk "Preserving the Hearts Mighty Change." The teacher told a story about her seminary class. Her teacher had hidden a snack snickers bar in the class when one student was in the hall. The class was then asked to guide the student to the candy. While they were playing hot and cold the teacher him self was giving different directions. Well a battle broke out between teacher and students. The student listened to the class and found the candy. After the teacher showed that he was guiding the student to an even better King Size Candy Bar. The teacher related this experience to listening to the world or chossing to stand by God, the teacher. If we learn to listen to God he will direct us to the best reward.
Our teacher then told us to her own struggles with and on again off again relationships that has lasted for years. She told of how each time she gets lonely she is tempted to go back to him, marry him and settle for the snack size candy bar. She then told of how God promised her the King Size amazing husband!
I thought about this my self and knew in my heart that if I choose to stand by God and hold out for the King Size Candy bar, aka the really good guy, we will be blessed. God will stand by us.
I think the second thing that struck me hard in the lesson. Was how she explained the hardest thing in life is choosing to be lonely while we wait for the king size candy bar. She then suggested there may be an even harder thing....learning to be at peace and be still allowing God to spend time with us, refining us while we wait for the answers to our prayers to come.
