What a Clutz I Am

Ok any one who knows me knows this- I am a huge clutz. I could be Bella in Twilight easily.

So whats my latest malady?

I was working on my stain glass window last night. And not following any safety rules might I add. I really should have been using the sander to work the pieces into the correct size and fit. But I was feeling kind of lazy and went against my better judgement and thought I could cut them into the correct fit. HAHA.

Well it was working well until I got to one troublesome piece. Well I cut it to the right fit. But.... I also cut my self. I ended up giving my self and good half inch cut on my thumb that would not stay shut. Actually it flopped open and I could see inside my hand. After nearly passing out a few times, go figure sense others injuries and blood dont bother me. My dad took me to the insta care. A few stitches later I am good to go. In pain yes, cant get my hand wet yes. But hey a few days and I will be as good as new.

Country Music, Good as Hymns

Country Music is as good as hymns. Yes I swear the are, ok maybe not just country music. But havent you ever been listening to the radio or your Ipod when that song comes on that has that indeniable message. The one where you say ohh thats me or how true. Ill admit it happens a lot to me. Dont know the deal there. but here are the lyrics to latest one. Its a song by Gary Allen. I love how he puts it in his songs, he has a talent.

"As Long As You're Looking Back"Got your feet wetGot your heart brokeDidn't pan outLike you hopedBut you played fairAnd you swear thatLove hadThe damn deck stackedAnd you just wanna put it behind youBut you sit and you dwel on the pastOh cant you see you cant see tomorrowAs long as you're lookin' backYou had someoneYou could count onYou believed inBet your life onBut your back turnedAnd the knife fellAnd you swear thatPaybackIs gonna be hellNow you just cant trust anybodyCuz a friend was just a snake in the grassBoy cant you see you cant see tomorrowAs long as you're lookin' backYou can't move onTil you let go of whats goneNo you're never gonna trust anybodyIf you sit here and you dwell on the pastOh can't you see you cant see tomorrowAs long as you're lookin' back....Got your feet wetGot your heart brokeDidn't pan outLike you hopedGot your feet wetGot your heart brokeDidn't pan outLike you hoped

Whirl Wind of a Year

Have you ever stopped and paused to look at your life. If you haven well you should. Ill admit I have been doing it a lot the last couple of weeks. And wow what an eye opening experience it is. A few things learned by doing so: 1) Heavenly Father is the most divine creator and guider of our life. His path and plan though harder is much more beautiful. 2) How quickly things can change. Why do we stress tomorrow can easily bring a change of life we never expected. 3) Life is beautiful why stress.

So you may be asking why the ponderings? Simple life.! Ok Ill explain better it all started with going to a wedding where I ran into my close friend from growing up. Wow how life changes. I swear it was just yesterday we were having Tuesday Buffets, Monopoly marathons and making videos. (Yes we were a little strange.) And now my friends are married, having babies or getting married.

So I cant help it this made me stop and think about my life. Now this was a fun adventure.

Lets rewind a year.

This time last year I was working at Ballet West, hating my job I must admit. My quest was to get out of my job. And being typical me I was seeking a drastic change. I had plans to move in the fall back up to Utah State and finish my history degree and go on and get a teaching degree. Huge change I know. Well as would be expected a rushed decision is never really good so I had my doubts.

With doubts in tow I headed off with my family on a vacation to sunny Southern California. Here we spent a lot of time playing on the beach and consequently thinking. (If you haven’t noticed I do this a lot, I must say I have a natural talent to think) Well the end result of my thinking was this. Stay where you are, stay the course you have chosen. So I did.

What can I say Heavenly Father gave direction I followed. Little did I know what was to come.

When I got home life continued. Still hated my job and was wondering why that answer. But I engaged in living my life. I ran races, hung out with friends and went on a multitude of blind dates, my cousins Ben’s doing.

Then came the hard day in July when I lost my job. At first I was very discouraged, frustrated and confused. To be expected I guess. Well I set out on a job hunt and to continue on with life not wanting to wallow in self pity.

A few days after losing my job I went to Lagoon with my sorority for our Annual Lagoon Day. I went for some relief from the stress I was under, little did I know what was to conspire.

Shortly into my day I meet Jonny Miller. Hmmm yes most of you know what happened here. Lets say it was the beginnings of a whirlwind romance. We started dating, he confessed his love to me, and we started thinking about the future. So to say the least we where no longer dating to date but to see if marriage was a possibility. Honest answer he told me a lot he would love to get married in the coming June. More honest confessions, we talked future plans, kids, etc. Wow was I ever caught off guard. I was thinking hmm is it finally my turn, I was loving the relationship and I was excited for the future.

But then as quickly as I thought it was my turn things started going weird in our relationship. With out to many details I was beginning to worry about the relationship. I started to wonder if it was me freaking out over such a relationship or what. But in the end after a lot of praying I knew I had to end the relationship.

So there is the first funny twists in my year. But on it went. I got a great job at Utah Domestic Violence Council, ran a couple of marathons, enjoyed a winter of skiing, more time this year with out having a hernia to set me back. Finally gave in and got my wisdom teeth out. Well more like they were growing in so out they had to come.

As spring approached I got my hopes up and heart set on getting a call to serve as an officer in my sorority. I prayed daily for it. Well when the callings where issued I did not receive my hearts desire. But a week later I got called into my bishops office to receive a new calling. I got called to be a visiting teaching supervisor. As I sat their and listened to Br. Craige explain the calling and it entailed I got such an overwhelming feeling of piece that this is where I need to be. That some how this calling holds the answers to my prayers and hearts desires, or at least is the doorway I have been looking for. Once again another twist in my life and year.

All I know is that as hard as the last few months have been, truth a combo of weird ex-boyfriend situations, friends getting married and having kids I have never felt happier. All I can say is that I keep having this feeling that good things are coming. That the answers I have been praying for are on there way. Yes I know it may be months or years but the answers are coming and are coming daily. Good things are on the way.

So what was my realization listening to Heavenly Father brings about huge changes in plans. First I could have been up at Utah State. Second, the huge funny kicker, is right now I could be either married or planning a marriage. Wow!!!

The point though. Heavenly Father is there and hears our prayers. He knows best and following his love and advice life can change daily and unexpectedly but always for the best, if even at the time you feel it cant be good.

A Day In the Life of Kendra

So one of my friends wrote a blog post about a ay in the life of a DC intern. I liked the idea just to show how mental I am, and probably all runners, this will show you why I dont run full marathons. I need to sleep somewhere.

I get up every morning between 4:20 and 4:40, when ever my alarm wins. Get dressed, get to the gym at 5:00 or leave for an out door run (if you where wondering I run Mondays, Tuesday, Thursdays and Saturday, Wendnesday and Friday are cross training and one may be a day off if my alarm losses and I win) On running days I run anywhere between 5-7 miles depending on if its at the gym or on the roads. On cross training days I do the elyptical for 45 min and lift.

I get home and stretch do abbs and hit the showers at 6:10 is. Get ready. Have breakfast at 7:10. Leave the house, feed the rabbit a treat or let him out, at 7:20. Arrive at the train station at 7:25ish. Buy my ticket walk the many flights of stairs cross the long, way to high, bridge, go down many fligths of stairs, walk to the very end of the platform cross to the center platform, why they cant board on the opposite side of the train I still dont know, walk to the middle of the plat form. Arrive at about 7:38 just in time to see the train approach. Im not kidding it really takes almost a full 15 minutes from entering the parking lot to get on the train plat form- my only complaints about the train. Read a good book or play suduko on my way to work.

Arive at work at 8:25, yes a good four hours after waking up- half a work day. Turn on my computer read email messages and dive into work. At 11:30 I have lunch and read scriptures. Work some more. At 4:20 I head to the train. Im a funny creature here. I walk down to the gateway and seeing how I feel I either cross to the arena trax station or walk to the planitarium station but sometimes I decide to walk to full mile to train. Weather, shoes and mood dependant. Catch the train, read a book and get home at 5:40.

When I get home I unwind from the day. Have dinner and depending on the day I got to church meetings or activities, craft, watch TV, Omega or hang out. Around 10ish I do the whole bed time routine: scriptures, abbs, pack lunch, etc. around 11ish I retire to my bed.

So you see that is a crazy day in the life of Kendra. If I where to run a full marathon workouts would have to double and then I would get a mear 4ish hours of sleep. Maybe I should give it a try who really needs one more hour of sleep. Oh waite waking up at 3:30 is pure insanity.

To Become Innocent

I have to admit singles wards have one huge bonus, quite Sacrament Meetings. And yesterday was no difference. I don’t know if you listen to country music but you Kenny Chesney sings a song an it he has a line about the preacher preaching just to him. That is exactly how I felt yesterday in sacrament. Our speaker spoke of innocence. He taught that there are two kinds of innocence, that of a child and that of being justified before God.

With out going into all the tiny details I will tell of what stuck with me the most. He taught of how we as sinners can become innocent again. The fist key step to our becoming innocent is to take responsibility for what we did. Shortly after Adam and Eve partook of the fruit God came and talked to them of what they did. Adam said he took of the fruit for Eve did. Eve said she partook because the Serpant told her to and so on. No one took accountability for their actions not knowing they had done wrong. That is the first step. We must take accountability for our actions knowing we sinned. Once we take accountability and repent we have been forgiven of our sins but we are not as of yet innocent again.

We are not innocent of our sins yet for we still carry the guilt in our hearts. We say to one another I cannot associate with you, or you would not want to know me if you know what I did. As the Brother taught it we are caught up in a competition of ugliness. We compare ourselves to others and say my past is worst/uglier then yours, my trails are harder, my life is worse, etc. This competition of ugliness will never allow us to become innocent again. Little children are innocent for they do not know right from wrong. They cannot compare what they have done to what others have done for they don’t know they did wrong. They have no guilt to carry.

To be innocent again we have to become like little children. We have to let go of the guilt. We need to learn to fully trust in Jesus Christ knowing that through our repentance and his atoning sacrifice our sins are taken away from us; that we are free and forgiven. We have to trust that we are pure again, that our sins have been erased. To become innocent again we have to let go of guilt and fear.

As I was reading my scriptures last night a deeper thought on this subject came to me. I was reading the April conference talk title “All Things to Give Thee Experience” (or something like that.) As I was reading the talk I realized that just as it is required for us to fully trust in Jesus and his atoning sacrifice to be made pure. To let go of the guilt and stop comparing ugliness of sins. There is another ugliness we like to compare, the one of comparing trails. We often hear people say you just wouldn’t understand, my trail is worse then yours, you would never want to be a part of this, etc. But here again we are failing to trust and are comparing ugliness again. This time the harm is different. We are failing to see and remember that Heavenly Father has a unique plan for each and everyone of us. I was never meant to go through the same trail as you and you were never intended to go through mine.

Again we have to learn to trust Heavenly Father and that he has a plan and design for each of us.

Have you ever noticed how little children don’t compare who has a worst cold then the other. Three year olds (ok I chose a cute age for this thought) simply see that someone is sick and know that they are too.

To become innocent again we need to become as little children fully trusting in Heavenly Father and his plan for us. Fully trusting in Jesus and his atoning sacrifice. To become innocent we need to let go of the guilt, let go of the game of comparing ugliness.

Whats Up With My Life

So its been awhile. I need to posts some pictures I know. Lets see here is what I have been up to:
New hair cute. I decided my brothers were wrong about girls looking better with longer hair so I cut it short again. I figure being you is the most attractive feature in a person. And lets face it I love having shorter hair.
I have been learning a new hobby, stain glass window making. I made my mom a pretty stain glass pain for mothers day. I will for sure post some pictures when I get a chance. I love doing this. Its more of a tedious project so its perfect. Plus in the end you have a functional practical craft. I do like to scrapbook but then you actually have to look through it see what you accomplished. Plus it’s a little to “lady like” for me. I like projects that time planning, time and in the end you have something to really look at. (I keep trying to get my dad and to work with me and build a pond in our backyard but he wont)
Last Saturday I went with a bunch of friends up the canyons for a camp fire. We first tried to go to some camp sites up Big Cottonwood canyon, but when we got there it was kind of flooded. In the end we went up Milcreek, I really should have taken pictures.
Last week was Matt’s High School graduation. Kind of makes you feel old when your little brother graduates High School.