The Cycle of My Year

I was reading a friends blog and felt for her. It can be really hard to go through breakups.

I seem to find my self in the breakup boat more then I enjoy. However, this year seems to be a funny cycle in and of it self. I seem to be not so good at making relationships last, but am proving to be worse at making breakups last.

My year cycle has been this. Date Jared...end relationship...date Jared...end relationship...date Jared...end relationship....and so on. The last couple of weeks we had talked a lot about getting back together. Oddly enough we talked through a lot of our problems and hesitancies of getting back together again. How we feel for each other. Well you name it we discussed it. He was all in it for getting back together..but I was still on the fence.

The end of the story goes like this...I realized our dating was not right. The reasons dont matter. But to sum it up. He and I stand in different places, goals and desires when it comes to the church and life styles.

As I prayed my answer was simple "You know what you know, you know how to live, you know what to do, now do it." With that in mind I knew we couldnt date. The answer felt right and stronger then the pain in my heart of not being able to date. He asked if I would regret not being with him when I looked back on it. I told him I likely would but would regret even more where my life would have ended up and how I would have lived even more.

This weekend I have thought about how hard breakups, or whatever I just went through can be. Its hard to walk away from someone you have something going with. Even more its a great test of faith. This thining has caused me to pull out my good old "What I Wish I Knew When I Was Single" book. I would like to share a part of it for all of us who have gone through a broken heart.

After a while you may begin to ask, "Could I really marry this person? Did I ,make him or her into something that wasnt real?" Slowly but surely, you're coming down to earth. It's ok. It happens to all os us. And, more than likely, the same thing may be going on in the oer person;s mind. usually this will leaad to the someties painful experience we all a break up. It's tough. But after a while, you'll get your courage back and start all again.

Here a few suggestions that might help:
1) Take your time
2) Write!!
3) Change the scenery
4) Be With People
5) Watch Your Mouth
6) Stay Close to the Lord

If you're in a situation like this, here;s some advice: when you break up, break up! Because you may still have concern for the other person, you may be tempet to keep in touch. Sometimes it's better to disappear. It may to be possible to go from eing in a romantic relationship to being "just friends." And although you want to call ech day and say "How are you doing today?" it may be better to leave it alone.

If you've been through a bad breakup, stay close to the lord. he knows what you are worth, and he is the Master Healer. Build your foundation on him, because he is the rock, the only sure foundation. and this rock will never break up.

Bottom line; Breakups are a part of life for everyone. They're hard. They hurt. But they can teach us empathy and make us better people in the long run. Learn what you can, be patient with yourself as you heal, and keep the faith. Just don't let breakups break you up.

I know its hard. I have found my self in the break up cycle time and time again. This year has been extra hard becuase I have found my self playing out this cycle multiple times with the same person. I am not the greatest at breakups. But know what I have learned this year. The Lord is there and loves us. The breakups are worth it, the relationship was worth it. They teach us many lessons and shape us. We become a better person, future girlfriend, future husband, future mom, etc. becuase of these relationships and breakups not despite of them.

Hang in there. Love the Lord. Hold the course and keep hope of the future burning bright in your hearts.